I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
