Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
