So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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