im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I understand Curling. That high.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
