i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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