I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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