i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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