We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
