Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
