Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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