I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So many bounce houses so little time
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
