my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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