After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
