You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
