I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize