i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Boobs are out for the taking
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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