half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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