if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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