Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
