i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
