Hey man sorry I got all grabby
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
