you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
