My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
