come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
