well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
NoShamevember. You game?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
