good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
