Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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