I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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