I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
