No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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