I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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