I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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