Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
