Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
