Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
