I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
