My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
