I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
