big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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