Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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