It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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