i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
