Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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