our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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