I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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