when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
