I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
