the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
