You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
