evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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