I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
