He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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